I'm Your Idiot
by AspiringAuthorInTraining
Summary: "Pepper?" "Yes?" "What would be the maximum prison sentence I would get for killing Iron Man? Follow up question, would it be worth it?"


"Pepper?"

"Yes?"

"What would be the maximum prison sentence I would get for killing Iron Man? Follow up question, would it be worth it?"

Sera was glaring daggers at a very drunk Tony Stark, who was currently going into detail about their "bedroom activities" to Steve Rogers, or Captain America, not realizing he wasn't being very quiet. Their audience, comprised of the guests at the ongoing party, including the rest of the Avengers, were stifling their laughs, with the exception of Steve. He was awkwardly trying to leave the conversation quietly, only to be held back by Tony grabbing his shoulders.

"You seriously need to get laid, Cap. God knows I can't spend a night with my hands off of Sera." Tony basically shouted, his speech slurred from the alcohol in his system.

"Who are we kidding, I would be doing the world a favor by getting rid of that idiot." Sera scoffed, seriously contemplating repercussions of her idea.

Pepper nodded in response before adding, "I'll help you make it look like an accident."

"And that is why you're my best friend." Sera affectionately said, clinking their glasses together, before downing hers. "Alright, well if you hear a scream in the middle of the night, you'll know what happened."

She could hear Pepper giggle behind her, as she walked towards her soon-to-be-dead fiancé, smiling at the guests that she passed, trying to not be mortified. She shot Steve an apologetic look, who was blushing like a tomato and couldn't meet even meet her eyes, once she reached her victim-to-be.

"_Anthony_. _Howard_. _Stark_." Sera grit her teeth while smiling at their onlooking audience.

Tony gulped at her use of his full name, knowing it meant he was in trouble, even in his drunken state.

"Yes, love?" He tried, but it was too late.

"Shut up right now or I _will_ chuck you off the balcony." She said, as sweetly as her anger allowed.

"How did you know what I was talking about?" He cocked his head, making him lose his balance and stumble into her arms. "Are you a mind reader too? Why didn't you tell me?"

"No dear, I'm not." She replied frustrated, struggling under his weight, as Tony decided to stop trying to stand up anymore. "But I can and will kill you right this second if you don't shut the fuck up."

"Don't worry baby. No one probably heard me anyways." Sera rolled her eyes, as she dragged him to the elevator."I was whispering to Cap the whole time." He had the nerve to end his sentence with a lopsided smirk.

"Jarvis?" she asked, once they were inside.

"Yes Ms. Sera?"

"Can you take us to our floor, please?" she asked, her hands full with holding up a dozing Stark.

"Certainly miss."

"Thank you, Jarvis."

Upon reaching their floor, she lugged Tony's body over to their bed and proceeded to throw him onto the bed, "accidentally" face-planting him into the mattress. She smiled victoriously at the drunken "ow" she heard.

She was trying to take off his shoes and clothes, to let him sleep comfortably, when his hands stopped her.

"We can't do this." his speech slurred and his eyes still half closed.

"What are you talking about Tony?" she asked, surprised at his strength, making her struggle to take off his jacket.

"Look, you're a very pretty and hot lady. But I have a beautiful fiancé that I love and I can't cheat on her." He replied, making Sera soften at his words.

"I'm sure I won't mind." Sera responded, returning to struggle with his clothes.

But he didn't let up, making her give up with a huff. She decided he could sleep uncomfortably tonight, and just laid next to him.

His eyes opened again a minute later, wider this time, and he studied her face before lighting up with a goofy smile. "Sera! You're here!"

"Yes Tony, I've been here." she said, with a roll of her eyes, but a smile on her lips.

"Did you kick out the woman that was here? She tried to take my clothes off."

"She did? How dare she." she played along, too tired to explain again at this point.

"But I told her no." He boasted, like it was the proudest thing he had ever done. "And that I already have a wonderful fiancé, who is the only one who can take my clothes off." he said, his eyes closing as he grinned.

She shook her head at his comment. "You're an idiot."

He smirked lazily at her words. "Yeah, but I'm your idiot."

The room went silent again, before a small snore was heard from Tony.

As he dozed on, Sera stared at his peaceful face, with a soft smile on her lips.

"Yeah, you're my lovable idiot."

* * *

*(A/N): I'm back! Finals are over and my fingers are ready to type out to their hearts content.


End file.
